Do you fit into the box?

I wrote about this topic a few weeks ago to my subscribers, but wanted to elaborate a little more because I can’t shake it loose from my brain.

For the past month or so, I’ve been writing less on my blog because of some travel and starting new work projects. And the longer I put off jumping back into my writing, the harder it became. I’ve been noticing old feelings of perfectionism and “what will people think of me?” doubts edging into my peripheral thoughts, even though I work hard to combat those little buggers.

Throughout this hiatus, a persistent question in the back of my brain was: "what is my brand?"

I've been mulling over what my online presence should look like as someone who's not very into social media or exposing all aspects of my everyday routine. I don’t want to edit all of my Instagram photos in the same filter or beat myself up for taking a week off from blogging. I didn’t go to advertising or design school, but I do know that a good story sells. And I’m finding it difficult to wrap up my narrative into a perfect package to market.  

Do you ever feel like this? 

When I was into both figure skating and ballet in my teens, my ballet instructor told my mom that if I was going to continue down this dual path of committing to both sports, I would only ever be “a jack of all trades and a master of none.” Basically, pick one. Do it seven days a week. Or there’s no point. 

This quote rang loud in my ears through my 20's. And Aziz Ansari's titled Netflix show "Master of None" only brought my suppressed anxieties back to the surface. How come HE could afford to jet off to Italy for pasta-making school after never committing to one successful career path? Answer me THAT!

In all seriousness, I think we’re only able to produce our best work or find the most meaning in a project when we let go of the straight and simple narrative. I majored in both Art History and Psychology in undergrad because I’m fascinated by chiaroscuro as much as I am by CBT. I’m a yoga instructor and believe in a consistent practice but could also eat you under the table in mozzarella sticks. I can’t commit to one side of me, and I don’t think you should either.

And let me tell you - I never even wanted to be just a figure skater or ballerina. Looking back, I feel so fortunate that I didn’t close myself off from the multiple things I love for fear of never being good enough at just one. 

Maybe that’s my brand, my narrative for now: I believe that loving how you live your life every day is more important than what it is you’re actually doing. It’s about the feeling it evokes. Not the topic.

You are more than your job. More than your exercise routine and weight. More than how others see you or what you’ve done in the past. The whole of you can’t be contained in a box. It was never meant to be.

So in conclusion, I’m going to keep on keepin’ on. Which is, to share through my words. 

I want to do it all. I want to share it with you. And I don’t want to apologize for it. I hope you’ll keep reading.